I can’t sleep.
Every minute I am not on the street feels like a mistake.
Every time I drive I wonder if the cops will stop me and make me disappear, or shoot me.
I wonder how my little brother will survive school, and when the police will get my other brother.
I wonder if my dad will make it home from work at night.
My heart is so full.
I don’t have the space to hear from white people.
Or Brown and Black people attempting to quiet or calm our collective rage.
Our collective pain.
How dare you tell us how to grieve? How dare you tell us how to mourn?
When buildings are burned, you ask me, “but do you think it’s right that violence equals more violence?”
While you were talking they shot a black child somewhere.
While you were talking a man killed himself in solitary confinement.
While you were talking a woman got raped in jail by police officers and has no money to put into her commissary to call a lawyer for help. It’s going to happen again tomorrow.
While you were talking a woman gave birth in prison and had her infant ripped away from her.
While you were talking a trans woman was killed and defamed on the street and it went unreported.
While you were talking a black child just ate ramen noodles for the fifth day in a row and it was their main meal.
While you were talking the border patrol shot and killed a man trying to make a better life for his family, and locked up his children after they watched.
While you were talking a black woman was told she was not eligible for low income housing because her food stamps are too much money and now she has no place to turn.
While you were talking another family in Detroit had their water shut off and another boy in south dakota got sick because he took a shower in radioactive water.
While you were talking a baby was born in Fukushima with their heart outside of their chest.
While you were talking a white girl just told a little black girl girl that she was ugly and giggled that her hair looked different.
While you were talking a teenager just sold heroin back to people in his own community to make enough money to feed his baby girl and pay rent.
While you were talking mothers wept, wept, wept, the loss of their sons.
While you were talking they dropped bombs on Iraq in the name of freedom.
While you were talking, Syrian boys and girls mourn the loss of their parents.
While you were talking a ten year old Palestinian was shot in the face with rubber bullets, tortured, and taken to jail.
While you were talking they force fed a man in Guantanamo Bay who has spent the last 13 years of his life in hell for the crime of being Muslim.
While you were talking a white boy shot up a school.
While you were talking a little girl watched tv alone for 6 hours because her mother was working and her father is in gone.
While you were talking they evicted another family from their house to build a new condominium.
While you were talking they laughed as they separated a father from his children and wife and called him illegal.
While you were talking a woman just died from untreated cancer because she couldn’t afford health insurance.
While you were talking, while you were asking me about violence,
a white cop who shot a black unarmed child 6 times in public
and left his body in the road to bleed out
for four and a half hours
just got a $500,000 dollar bonus,
and a pass for freedom.
How do you expect me to answer that question?
V | @drvonskillet